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Valkyrion

4/25/2011

Mina launched herself towards Loki, swinging her stick at his head.

He looked up from Iris’ prone body just in time to see her coming. The stick hit his skull with a crack that echoed through the empty hall. He tumbled to one side, and as he fell, he changed, morphing into a medium-sized animal covered with coarse dark fur. Mina thought it might be a wolverine. The animal shook its head and struggled to right itself. She glanced back towards Iris. It looked like she’d tried to roll onto her side before passing out. Her breathing was steady.

Mina turned back to Loki. The wolverine had gotten upright, but still looked woozy. She hit him again, knocking the small animal a few feet across the floor. By the time he stopped moving, he’d changed again. This time an eagle was flapping its wings, trying to get on its feet. Mina looked back to Iris again, more worried about her than Loki.

“Tyr, tend to the champion.” The Allfather was kneeling beside Thor, who was beginning to move. Tyr circled behind Mina and gently scooped Iris off the floor. “Mina,” she turned her attention back to Odin, “she will not die. Mind your business with Loki.”

The eagle was flapping its wings, Mina hit it again. This time he changed into a medium-sized spotted cat.

“How is she doing that?”

“We’ll find out soon enough. How is your brother?”

“I’ll live.” Thor’s voice rumbled up behind her, “But Loki’s ass is mine.”

Mina hit Loki again, just because he deserved it, and watched as he morphed into a small snake. She wanted to turn around, so see how badly Iris was hurt.

“We should set the leg while she’s still out.”

“Indeed. Tyr, hold her still.”

Mina fidgeted and behind her, Iris groaned. She hit Loki again, sending the snake flying across the room. She followed it and found a large crab. She spun the animal around in time to see Iris sit up.

“How many Goddamn times am I going to have to die?”

Mina laughed, and used her stick to skid the crab back towards them.

“Mina?” Iris’ eye widened, “What the hell are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in Wyoming!”

“Saving your sorry ass. Ungrateful much?”

“That’s it. I quit. Where are my damn axes?” Tyr handed them to her and Iris put them back in her ears. The pain in throat made talking difficult, but her broken leg was already feeling better. The Allfather himself was tearing strips off his tunic and making a splint for her leg. Iris leaned back on her hands; she didn’t like the attention from him. She would much rather Tyr patched her up. “Mina, what are you doing here?”

“Mimir sent me to the elves. I’ll tell you about it later. What are we going to do with him?” She nudged the crab with her stick again. It snapped its claws at her. Mina hit him again, sending him skidding across the floor like a hockey puck. Loki bounced against the leg of a bench and became a small gray and white lop-eared rabbit.

“How are you doing that?”

Mina glanced at Tyr, “Doing what? Isn’t that what happened when you hit him?”

“Not usually. Iris,” the Allfather finished with her leg and stood up, “don’t move your leg until I tell you to. That is a most unusual bracelet.”

She glanced down. The dwarven chain was still around her wrist. It was so light she’d forgotten she was wearing it. She unclipped it and handed it to Odin. He ran the delicate chain through his fingers, “Very unusual indeed. I believe this will do.”

Loki was still a rabbit, woozily trying to figure out which way was up. Odin picked him up by the nape and clipped the chain around his neck, “Loki, I bind you to this form, without speech, for the rest of eternity.” He set him down on the table, “Or until you figure out how to escape.”

“So now what do we do with him?”

“I can think of a few things.” Thor picked up the rabbit and began tossing it from hand to hand, “Most of them involve boiling oil.” He slammed the rabbit back onto the table with enough force to smash it. Instead, Loki lay stunned, legs sticking out at wrong angles, for a moment before straightening himself out and trying to hop away. Thor grabbed him again.

This was getting surreal, even for Iris. “Are you sure I’m not dead? It’s okay; you can tell me.”

“You’re not dead.” A feminine voice rang through the hall, “I should know.”

Iris turned to see Hela walking through the overturned tables. She’d changed her appearance again. This time she had short, spiky black hair and was wearing a strapless red dress cut above her knees. The piercing was still in her eyebrow and there was another tiny silver stud in one side of her nose. Red shoes with heels like daggers clicked as she walked towards them.

“Hela.” The Allfather’s voice was neutral, “How unusual to see you in my Hall.”

“I’m just here to collect what’s mine. It might please you to know that most of your humans survived. I’m sure I’ll find something to do with all those giants you sent me.”

“What about Gunnar?” Iris glanced at Mina, surprised by the intensity in her voice, “An elf, about a foot taller than me, gray hair.”

Hela shrugged, “Do you expect me to remember? There were several elves.” She turned her back on Mina, “But, as I said, I’m here to collect what’s mine.”

“And that would be?”

“Your little girl. She left me quite rudely.”

“I thought you and Loki had an arrangement about me.” Iris tried to keep her voice cool. She wasn’t dead, could Hela just take her?

“We can all see how that turned out.”

Iris’ mind raced; she wasn’t going back. She’d seen what was there. She wasn’t going to spend the next eon sitting in a drab gray waiting room. “But I’m not dead.”

“Easy to remedy.” Hela smiled like a snake.

Iris reached for her axes, but wasn’t sure what they could do against a goddess.

“Wait, wait. As much as I would enjoy watching a catfight, there’s no need.” Iris glared at Tyr, but he was smiling. “I have a better idea.” He snagged Loki in mid-air as Thor tossed him from hand to hand.

“A rabbit?”

“Not just any rabbit. A very special rabbit. Look closely.”

Hela stared at the lop for a moment, then started laughing. Iris relaxed and dropped her hands. Surely Loki was more valuable than she was. Hela stopped laughing and straightened up. “A fair trade, most definitely.”

“As you say. The rabbit instead of Iris.”

“Agreed.”

Iris let out her breath relief made her giddy. She grinned, “There’s a house, in your land. A house full of little girls. I’m sure they’d take good care of him.”

“Indeed.” Her voice was calm, but she was smiling. It was a beautiful smile, but sent a chill down Iris’ spine.

“Wait. I have a claim on this asshole too. I owe him for all the shit he’s put me through.”

“Iris saved your life!”

“And Loki made me wear a dress. I’m not about to forget that.” Thor rested one hand on his hammer.

Iris wanted to scream, but had a better idea, “She’s taking him to a house full of little girls. I’m sure they’ll just love playing dress up with pink ribbons and doll clothes. Besides, do you really want to get into a pissing contest with me about who’s life got screwed up?” Her leg didn’t hurt at all, and Iris felt like she could take on anything, even Thor.

He glanced around at each of them and dropped his hand from Mjollnir. He sighed, “Take him.”

She vanished, taking Loki with her.

Thor sat down next to her, “Now we’re even. Besides, I saved your whole stupid planet.” He stretched and cracked his knuckles, “That’s one less problem, anyway.”

Tyr let his breath out and slumped on the bench beside her, “Not really. The Tree is still gone. How much longer until everything mashes together?”

Iris rested her head in her hands, “It’s just one thing after another with you people, isn’t it?” Her leg felt fine, better than fine, but she didn’t want to anything but sleep. The fight with Fenrir was taking its toll. She was sick of this; sick of the constant crisis, sick of gods who seemed unable to do much of anything.

“All may not be lost. Come for a walk with me, girls.”

* * *

“What did you do to my leg?” Iris walked along beside the Allfather, Mina a couple of paces behind them. She wasn’t afraid of him anymore; she wasn’t even in awe of him anymore. It seemed strange that she ever had been.

“You’re getting uppity, Iris.” There was a ghost of humor in his voice.

“I think I’ve earned the right. What did you do to my leg? It feels fine now.” The rest of her was aching and tried, but here leg felt fine.

“I sped up time in that one region of your body. The bones of your leg are now six week older than the rest of you.” His inflection was calm, as though they were discussing the growing of flowers or the shape of the clouds.

“You can do that?”

“My dear girl, you haven’t begun to learn what I can do.”

They climbed the path towards Yggdrasill, picking their way through the increasingly steep rocks. When they reached the summit and Iris could see down, she wanted to cry. There was nothing but black burnt grass surrounding a huge blackened stump.

Tears began running down her face, “It’s over. There’s nothing left.”

“Don’t give up to easily, Champion.” He led them down through the ruined valley. Soot puffed up with each step, only to give up and fall back to earth with no wind to carry it away.

As they got closer to the stump, Iris could see the stream was still there, cutting a channel through the ashes. Iris didn’t want to do anything but sit in the ashes and cry. It was all for nothing.

They got closer, and even burnt, the tree was impressive. It was a massive stump, higher than Iris was tall and as big around as a redwood. There was a creaking sound and Iris reached for her axes. The Allfather put a hand on her arm.

“Mimir, are you there?”

He crawled out of the stump and tried to dust himself off, “So kind of you to visit.” He glanced past Odin, “And you’ve brought back my messenger.”

“I knew there was something special about her. Very clever of you. Do you think it will be enough?”

“One can only hope. I did the best I could with what I had. Mina. Come here.”

Iris tried to smile as the other woman walked past her, but Mina didn’t seem to see her. She walked slowly, but not with fear, and stopped in front of Mimir.

“I’m pleased to see you kept my gift.”

Now she smiled, “When a god gives you something it’s probably a good idea to hang onto it.”

“Just so. May I?”

She handed it to him and for a moment he caressed the wood, then plunged the staff into the ground at the source of the stream. A ripple went through the ground and Mimir began to shake, but didn’t let go. His hands began to change, growing older, the skin becoming papery and spotted, the veins popping out. His face was changing too, his hair and beard turning gray, skin beginning to sag and wither. The staff grew, getting taller and sprouting leaves and small branches. Around it the black ashes began to turn green with a skim of new grass, and vines began to climb up the blackened stump of the tree.

With a small cry, he let go to the sapling and fell back. Mina caught him and helped him sit down on the fresh layer of green. “What happened?”

He gasped for breath a few times and his hands stopped shaking, “We are bound together, Yggdrasill and I. I sent a piece of her off with you, in the hope you would bring it back to me.” He pushed her away and tried to stand, “The price of growth is never cheap, but I will survive.” He touched the new leaves of the sapling, already big enough to shade them all, fondly, “And so will she. Thank you Mina.” He turned to Odin, “The realms are in place again. Things will be strange and uncertain at first, but as the tree gets larger, balance will return. Now leave me alone. I have to clean up this mess.” He turned his back on them.

Iris held out her hand and helped Mina up, “Can we go home now?”

“Not until I find out what happened to Gunner and the rest of the elves I brought. I have to get them home.”

“Valhalla will be filling up. No doubt your friends will be among them.”

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